This Monday marks my two week mark of being back in the States from England. The second week of classes is almost over and things seem to flowing fairly well. It didn’t take too long to adjust to riding on the right-side of the road, but acclimating to weather that goes well beyond 70 degrees in temperature it a bit tougher. =]
Aside from environmental adjustments, I’ve been able to settle in to school and such, but specific things from the trip this summer have started to process. I no longer spend the entirety of my day with the same group of girls, sharing in constant community. I can carry on through the whole day without even being held accountable to anyone, if I so choose. While the independent side of my nature thoroughly appreciates this, I keep feeling God tug at me in different ways saying, “Do not stray away and hide. Seek out true community and live in full.”
In sensing a push towards a direction I didn’t quite like or understand very well at the time, frustration and anxiety took over and left me pretty empty. While working out this bit of mess, I finally rummaged through II Timothy, and found this passage:
I have been reminded of your sincere faith…and, I am persuaded, now [faith] lives in you also. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
II Timothy 1:5-7
*punch in face*
But in all honesty, that’s something I really needed to hear. Consistently seeking out solitude in my frustration is not what is supposed to happen. Hiding behind whatever I’m facing does not help to “fan the flame”… it just heaps sand over the coals.